When we moved from PA back to TX, we were invited to stay at Cheo's parents' house with them, my SIL and her 5yo daughter. We'd lived with them before, in Hawaii, so we figured we had a good idea of how it would be. But there was a new variable involved that we didn't realize would be a HUGE player in how we were treated. We had recently adopted and implemented a new parenting style, natural learning (aka unschooling,) that was frowned upon by Cheo's parents and sis. Add to that a breakdown in communication and understanding, and we were again in an untenable situation, living with others who simply didn't want us there, unless we changed to meet their expectations.
Cheo and I spent quite a lot of time doing research and hammering out exactly what we feel is the right approach to parenting Zoe, and we weren't/aren't willing to compromise in that area. Once we realized that we were no longer welcome if we continued to disagree with traditional school and parenting approaches, we moved out as soon as was possible.
The way we've chosen to live is unconventional and non-traditional, but we didn't set out for it to be that way. After much research, observation and soul-searching, we have come to the conclusion that learning is a natural process of living, and that as we partner with Zoe to follow her interests, she will learn what she needs in order to live a full and happy life. We are also choosing peaceful (or mindful) parenting practices, which extend the idea that children will learn and do the things they need AS they need them to everyday life. This means that they will sleep when tired, eat when hungry, and will naturally learn to be a contributing member of the household/society without needing to be coerced or punished.
We feel that modeling the behaviors and principles we find helpful and kind is the best way to instill those in our daughter. I think the following quote by Carolyn Coats demonstrates our feelings quite well, "Children have more need of models than of critics."
It seems that most people (including our families) have a really hard time seeing natural learning and peaceful parenting as viable options to school and traditional parenting. That doesn't mean that they AREN'T viable options; just that people don't see them as such.
Yet.
More and more people are taking this approach to raising their children, and I expect that we will see many more adopting it in the future as it is proven successful at producing happy, well-adjusted adults.
Only time will tell. In the meantime, we are enjoying our wonderful life together - just the 3 of us.
