Friday, December 17, 2010

Progression

Things seem to be getting better. There have been some apologies all around and it appears that everyone is trying to keep things friendly from this point forward. It doesn't change the fact that we need to move or that we have vastly different parenting styles. But it's nice to feel like we can get along again.

Really, we have a lot in common. But parenting can be a real deal-breaker.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Leaving Pennsylvania

"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God's kindness; kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile, kindness in your warm greeting."
~Mother Theresa

We're moving up the date of our move back to Texas. Originally it was the end of February. Now we're leaving at the beginning of January. Our hosts seem relieved that we are leaving sooner, as are we. The experiment of our two families living together has failed, I think. I would even say miserably.

I admit that some of the difficulties we experienced probably were entirely my fault. I'm not always the most tactful person. I really try to be diplomatic, but sometimes I fail. I'm sure they felt judged. I was definitely judging them. (I know this is bad, but am having a really difficult time NOT doing it.) I understand that they're doing what they think is best for their children. They're doing it the way they were taught. They definitely don't see things from my perspective. And they don't WANT to see it the way I do.

What do you do when you feel that someone else's kids are a bad influence on your child, or a parent's behavior is a bad model for ALL children? Typically, I would leave that play date (or whatever) and try not to spend much time with them in the future. But what if you live with them? What do you do then?  I think we found the answer. You move. You get away from that influence as fast as you can and pray that you can repair the damage that has been done to your child.

We'll live here for about 33 more days. My goal is to walk in love and kindness, and I hope that any break in our relationships will be mended by the time we leave. I'm praying for an understanding of how to walk in grace. That's all I can do. I hope it's enough. 

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Beloved

My name - Amy - is the Anglicized version of the Old French "Amee", meaning "beloved", which originated as a nickname from the Latin "Amata", from "amare", meaning "to love".

As I got older, I discovered that the name David also means "beloved" in Hebrew. Because of this, I have always felt a kinship with King David in the Bible. I've spent a lot of time reading the Psalms and trying to understand why the Bible said that he was a man after God's own heart. What I found was that no matter how many times David sinned, he was always repentant and genuinely sought God's will. He had given his whole heart to God and was very aware of his weakness without Him.

I am trying to learn from the example of David. I'm far from perfect and am daily thankful for God's grace. When I realize that I've fallen short of the mark, which is often, I repent and seek God's face for forgiveness. I pray for wisdom and patience and grace and love toward others. 

I fail. And then I pray some more.

I pray that God will be able to say the same of me that He said of David. 

1 Kings 14:8 God said David "followed me [God] with all his heart."